When handing out random praise we are teaching kids that approval is more important than product. Do we want to develop a generation that bases decisions on what others think? A child might think: I will be teased if I play with for the the unpopular kid, so I even though I like him, I won’t jeopardize my position with my peers. And adult might think: I will be ostracized if I stand up for the unpopular race, so I’ll let discrimination stand. If children are given tools to self-evaluate, they may value their own opinions over the group think. Sometimes young adults give “praise” for bad things. So and so is “cool” for being a bully or supplying drugs. Children who make product-based decisions rather than praise-based decisionsi might make better decisions.

Effective praise is very specific: I like the way you tried a new strategy on that math problem. I like the way you organized you work so others could understand it. I like the way you re-read the part of the paragraph you didn’t understand - how did it help you? Praise is also effective when you have to render constructive criticism: I like the way you used a lot of descriptive words in your essay, now let’s work on putting your ideas in a logical order. These praise statements have a purpose of reinforcing positive behavior over giving kids a “feel good biscuit”

One other thing. The overimportance of standarized tests are causing a similar reaction with teachers. The need to get a high ranking with test scores dominates over preparing our children for the future.